roasts to say to your best friend


Seeing you live such a weird personality, gives me the motivation to stay normal. I dont hate you, but if you were drowning, I would give you a high five. There is a reason why good roasts are given by good friends rather than random strangers. Your good morning wishes will work only when you dont show up. 20. Keep the roasts coming and the fire burning with more funny roasts! When karma comes back to punch you in the face, I want to be there in case it needs help. Youre more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. 26. These roasts are perfect both for school and bullies. 6. C'mon, my friend, it's just one plate of curly fries. The following jokes are a little messed up, but they can be pretty funny jokes to tell your friends when theyre feeling sad or need a pick-me-up. A T-Rex told his girlfriend, "I love you this much," as he stretched out his arms. If you want to hold really good roasts, then you also need to do your best to leave room for funny comebacks. Getting down and dirty with your hoes, Take this quiz and see how you can make new friends. 7. 131. 2. Thats what makes it so funny. 42. It ain't over till the fat lady sings. Plus, this page has really mean roast jokes you can tell your friends and co-workers. Source: reddit. With a chair. Please, keep talking, I only yawn when I am fascinated. If you want more good roast lines and other awesome stuff, check out 35 funny Spongebob roasts, quotes, and jokes.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_6',199,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); Im sure youre gonna like these roasting lines because theyre brutal yet witty.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_10',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); These are the most brutal roasts youll ever find. Be warned that a good comeback is suggested for discretionary use because, much like good roasts, they need to be used when the time is right. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? 1. It just takes me a moment to process so much stupid information all at once. 5. If I ever compare you with the stupidest person, he feels roasted. He couldnt see himself doing it 5. You are an exemplary father, who possesses all the attributes of honesty, thoughtfulness, love, faithfulness, integrity, gentleness, purity, and devotion. Whats the best way to burn 1000 calories? 13. BetterHelp offers support via phone or video at $64 per week. Youre the whole royal family. Your so dumb i bet before you watched IT you thought Pennywise was an atm. This is especially important when its just a group of friends throwing shade at one another. I thought you only talk behind my back. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Are you kitten me right meow 3. Youre the whole royal family! 2. You are what happens when women drink during pregnancy. Either way, here are the best funny fat people jokes I've come across in my days: 25 Best Fat People Jokes: This dude is short as hell, he went on stage the crowd couldn't even tell 12 2. My teachers told me my procrastination would keep me from being successful. Start improving your confidence, your conversation skills, or your ability to bond - in less than an hour. Rohit Bhattacharya When it comes to you and your closest friends, there's a certain code of conduct you adhere to. 9. You need to play it cool. Remember to vote for your favorite savage roast at the end and share it. You will be mist. 73. If I throw a stick, will you leave me too? Ya bro. Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not for me to point it out? You didnt change since last time I saw you. 44. 14. Too many cheetahs 2. 22. 6. Dont mistake my silence for weakness. I 'd never roast plastic it's bad for the environment, Yo mama so hairy, when she went to the store, they said ``no pets allowed``, if I picked you up and dropped you the whole earth would cave in on its selfd, your existence is the reason cover 19 exists, if you became a manager of a store not even a Karen would speak to you. Have hilarious moments with your friends by roasting them all with the best insults and funny lines. Yo mamma so fat that Thanos had to snap twice, you sooo ugly when i saw you i thought i was dreaming, when your mom cuts onions and crys its because onions remind her of u, Your mum is so fat that when i pictured her in my head she broke my neck, people die everyday after seeing your face ya know, Yo mama is so old this meme is 90 yrs younger then her, your so ugly that i thought you were a posem, rahh most of your makeup can be cleaned with a wipe shut up, Is it just me or, is my roast more popular then you. If I had a dollar for ever time I wanted to throw you out a window, I'd have more money than Bill Gates. You can also post it on All across Twitter, Facebook, and even in text messages to family members, people have professed their homophobic views. Look for fresh prints, 4. You should. Unknown. And laugh, when you leave. I have a lot of bullies at my school that I feel would absolutely love to hear some of these. 7. Multisyllabic rhymes. 13. ardiel Apr 13, 2016 @ 9:22am. Of course, roasts are not just part of arguments. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? 5. But getting back to what we're going to discuss, I believe these are the best ly. He ran out of thyme 9. What do you call a pile of cats? Today we have a huge list of 55+ good roasts. God knows he doesnt need you, hoped the world might. He was out standing in his field 12. Weve been best friends a long time, but youre the reason they put external use only on shampoo bottles. An ir-relephant 5. I am Mariam, 18 years old student from Georgia. Whenever you open your mouth, its like, Woah, somebody took too many drugs this morning.. Can you stop verbal diarrhea? You just have bad luck when it comes to thinking. You need to be brutal, and you must go for the jugular with each barbed line your throw, however, never make it so personal that the fun leaves the room. A polar bear 3. 4. Your friends would be amused.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_4',197,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); If you like these savage roasts, youll also like this list of really funny comebacks, insults, and burns. "We're you born in a highway? Large and in charge is not a synonym for being a fat asshole. Female friend: "I'll just meet a doctor and become a trophy wife.". If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. 61. "You look 100 percent better when I can't see you.". Looking at you reminded me to take my contraception. Its always important to remember that the best insults are spoken in good taste and that while they may sound aggressive and confrontational, the best roasts are held in fun and jest. 4. Ian. Every time a tall person bumps their head, somewhere a short . 3) at least i was wanted, you were obviously a mistake . A carrot 8. Anytime when I need guidance, I take your advice and do the opposite. Online therapy allows you to speak to a licensed therapist in the comfort of your home. 62. Moreover, you can also make use of funny insult names for best friends to irritate them with your antiques. 21. You should be grateful to have me because I'm your only friend. 58. 90. I might be fully vaccinated but Im still not going to hang out with you. You sound reasonable Time to up my medication. 28. I only thought you talk behind my back! 68. 9. If youre going to be a dick, you might as well dress like one. Im not an astronomer, but I am pretty sure the world revolves around the sun and not you. Male friend: "They don't give trophies for last place". What kind of concert only costs 45 cents? Like a caricature picture drawn down by the beach. 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Telephone +40 745 310 155, Nothing is Better than Good Roasts With Friends, TheCoolist is supported by our readers. Telling jokes is fairly straightforward, throwing roasts is a little complicated, but throwing poison-laced retorts is an even greater art form. Thanks for letting me know what is like to have a fake friend. 11. It can feel scary to tell jokes because there is pressure to make people laugh. What runs around a yard without ever moving? Mer-maids 14. Every time I have a stick in my hand, you look like a pinata. Use them responsibly only when absolutely necessary. 1. What's the problem?" 3. That explains a lot. 7. Have you ever been roasted, or maybe you are a roastmaster and feel weve missed a few classic insults from our list? Just remember that if you lose your shoe at the party tonight, its not cause its a fairytale its cause youre drunk 3. Michelle Malm. Ratings. 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You're calling me gay? Whoever made this must be given an oscar award daYou should make another article on this tooand send it to me because this will be so helpful for me as there are only bullies in my schoolI would love to roast them with breadYoure a true legend daRESPECT FOR THE COOLIST. Good friends don't let you do stupid things alone. 77. Best Roasts For Enemies. Don't worry - the first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest. 2. Every air that goes into you dies. 54. Make your buddies laugh out loud and lighten the mood. These are hilarious jokes for adults that are a little bit on the crazy side. Your secrets are always safe with me. Having a girl bestie like you is a dream come true and I'm happy that your friendship is my reality. Funny thing was, Google only showed results for "dumb people.". If you want to improve your social skills, self-confidence, and ability to connect with someone, you can take our 1-minute quiz. In case he got a hole-in-one 2. How do you drown a hipster? Viktor is a Counselor specialized in interpersonal communication and relationships. Youre the reason God created the middle finger. I bet it's cool you can change the TV channels with your mind. Youre, 6. He found his honey 2. Mirror can't talk. 2. If you ever see how you look when you talk, you will never say a word. Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your unique personality and goals. They may get annoyed but will never take our comments to heart. Im sorry that this roast uses your entire vocabulary. Nobody wins in this battle. Your forehead is so big that if you had a stroke, it would look like a landslide gone wrong. In case your favorite roast isnt on the list below, your vote would add it to the list. I dont want to rain on your parade. Youre more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. I cant wait to spend my whole life without you. 2. What kind of tea is hard to swallow? What starts with an E, ends with an E and only has one letter in it? . Oh you're talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back. Can you give me a break for the next fifty years? Your hairline look's like the KFC manager, The reason your mom cry's when cutting onion's because you turned out to be a big FAILURE. 69. Youve got so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail. The comments are open and we love to hear from you, so go on, dont be shy. 11. . 1. Whats the dumbest animal in the jungle? How did the hamburger know he needed new pants? Anytime when someone says youre so handsome. Unless youre a thong, get out of my ass. You my friend, are a white crayon on white paper. Why was the candle happy? Notify me when someone responds to my comment. If they are loyal friends to both of you, they will encou Continue Reading 3 Ian Leonard Director, IT (2015-present) Author has 156 answers and 2.4M answer views Updated 3 y Related How did you lose your best friend? document.getElementById("ak_js_1").setAttribute("value",(new Date()).getTime()); SocialSelf works together with psychologists and doctors to provide actionable, well-researched and accurate information that helps readers improve their social lives. I hope you stay there. Have you ever tried putting makeup on your toast to try and make your personality prettier? Its my favorite. Leave the pizza in the oven 6. What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Nana your business 3. It is hilarious how you are trying to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. The last 15 Fat insults. Look around you; there are remarkably dumb people everywhere who you could aspire to be. 7. 3. Its not that youre annoying; its just that Id liken you to the human version of period cramps. 1 /49. 68,887 Views. Your talking to me? I dont know what makes you so stupid, but it works. 5. He replies, "I forgot my wallet." Sometimes I look at my boyfriend and think You're so ugly that your mom said, "whos baby is that..?" 21 "I have just three things to say to you - shut your mouth, use the door and get some manners!" 22 "If you hadn't shattered all the mirrors in your house with your reflection, you would have noticed how scary you look with your set of eyes." Photo by Jilbert Ebrahimi on Unsplash Remember, however, that the best insults are not the ones that are intended to offend. I believe you can achieve anything. A Toast to My Best Friend Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it but only you can feel it. Knock knock Whos there Spell Spell who? It might be that your ex was a complete (insert rude word here), or that you're annoyed for not noticing the obvious and allowing yourself to be messed around. Mongo's coffees . So cheer up friend. Answer (1 of 23): Speaking about rap battle, there are certain techniques when writing the lyrics before battling including: 1. Your bad personality is the reason I prefer animals to humans. The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage. 71. Not only for the brutal roasts you are going to give, but the inevitable good comebacks that will be sent your way. Sure, there is a passive-aggressive undertone. I don't know if I'd spank you on the ass or on your forehead. What do you call a magician who lost their magic? Today, we help you tailor your verbal devastation with 90 good roasts to leave your friends (and your haters) in tatters. Tall people: the giraffes of the human race since the beginning of time. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately weve been married for 10 years. 2. 3. Nothing, because hes a professional, duh, 4. The only reason I take you everywhere with me is that Id rather do that than kiss your ugly face goodbye. Mistle-toes, 7. Why dont witches wear underwear? Bad idea in your case. 5. 12 "Yes, but did you notice that my head is up, and yours is down?" This is a good comeback when you want to stick it back to the bully. A thesaurus. Justin the neighborhood, thought Id stop by 5. Don't worry about me. The people who know me the least have the most to say. You're so fat when you ate at KFC the waiter served you the bucket on the roof. Wishing you a very happy Birthday my dear dad. Everything is changing, but not you, my friend. Snarky comebacks and quips make sure everybody involved has a good laugh. Perhaps I should move away from your dumb. Id tell you to blow your brains out, but Im pretty certain theres nothing there. What Is The Scariest Thing In The World In 2023? While sitting next to or over text, when you both are looking for some fun, try being sarcastic and savage. You'll think I'm crazy until you should see me with my best friend. You are so full of shit, the toilets jealous. 37394109), Str. There were too many knights. 72. 83. Im stupid now. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. SAVAGE Kid Comedians RIP Into Simon Cowell And The. What kind of pants does Mario wear? dont be ashamed of yourself, thats your parents job! 16. No, no. Of course, roasts are not just part of arguments. Wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke? You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail. 67. Enjoy making yourself and your friends laugh with the following 100 jokes. 6 We All Love Dressing Like Bums Sometimes, But We Don't Need To Be Reminded That We Sometimes Do It Too Much. Roasting you isnt easy. I mean, you even used to make your happy meal cry. Your forehead is so big, you'll never have enough hair for bangs. "Excuse me for a moment, please.". Here are 14 super funny jokes that are sure to make your friends laugh out loud. Where do you learn to make a banana split? What did the elephant ask the naked man? I only take you everywhere I go just so I dont have to kiss you goodbye. We have a collection of all the cute insulting names so you can choose from the list and give perfect names for your friends. 13. I was going to stand here and make a joke about your life, but hey, it looks like life got there first. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships. What kind of shoes do burglars wear? How can you tell if a vampire is sick? I bet your face would melt if I put a candle to it, because all it is, is plastic! 1. 5. The following are 5 tricky jokes to tell your friends, with answers included. 12. Check out our, How to Lose Face Fat: 8 Face Slimming Tips To Leave You Feeling Great, 21 Brutal, Mysterious Serial Killers Who Escaped Justice, How to Flirt With Girls: 15 Basic Tips for Becoming the Ultimate Flirt, The Best Time to Post on TikTok in 2023: A Complete Guide, Brutal Honesty - 90 Good Roasts That Will Leave a Savage Burn. Thats your parents job. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Knock knock Whos there Annie Annie who? If your brain was made of dynamite, you couldnt even blow your nose! Your poor mama didn't have no choice. You don't get this bad from just on generation. Pay attention: Become TUKO.co.ke ambassador - get a branded T-shirt, hoodie or water bottle at our TUKO Shop! Anytime when someone says youre so handsome. Brains aren't everything. Watch popular content from the following creators: Tyler Worsley(@tylerworsley), Kenny Benny366(@ompalompa670), Footy edits(@football_editz4321), Footy edits(@football_editz4321), Vin(@vincentm542), Jordan Flores(@yungblores), Footy edits(@football_editz4321), Nathan alto(@nathan__editz), R O A S T E D(@https . Poking a little fun at a friend or co-worker during a roast or hangout can give everyone a good laugh, especially if the person being roasted is a good sport. Youre so irritating you should come with a warning label.View in gallery. 9. I like the way you comb your hair, so horns dont show up. 12. What do you call a can opener that doesnt work? My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships. Are you looking for your brain? 15. A chili dog 12. If you recently had a fight with him and seek revenge, or you want to roast your brother for no reason, we've something for you to say here. My name must taste good because its always in your mouth. We were going to roast you, but apparently, its not good for the environment to burn trash. Even being surrounded by friends, you all feel bored together. Being a dick to me wont make yours bigger. Because theyre fun-gis, 4. Oh, my bad. This is literally a terrific day, because, it is your birthday. It is better to shut your mouth and make people think you are stupid than open it and remove all doubt. Worry about your eyebrows. You're so ugly that god had to look away. Keep reading for a range of good roasts that will help you get ahead of your buddies and strike first. Connect, Converse and Communicate Better. They need to be relevant to the person you are roasting. Watch popular content from the following creators: Princek33m_(@_skywalkerk33m_), Tyler Worsley(@tylerworsley), Vin(@vincentm542), Coconut comebacks! Because 7 ate 9 11. 4. 12. The last time I saw something like you, it was behind metal grids. Knock knock Whos there Beets Beets who? 17. You're a light eater alright. Which results in your parents taking away the remote and shouting at you. Poor you. Your the reason god created the middle finger, You're entitled to your incorrect opinion, You should really take a trip to hell, and take your parents with you, if i was you ide donate myself to a thrift store because thats where cheep crap goess, sorry my internet is slow but atleast im happy its not as slow as your brain, Was you born on a highway? No matter how many times you roll your eyes, you wont find anything in your head. Because they make up everything 3. What did the mime say to the audience? What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Use the following comebacks when you feel the time is right, to ensure you leave the roast with more than just emotional scars and crippling self-doubt. I'm sorry for bothering you. Best friends, eat your lunch. 33. In the mainstream 2. Manage Settings If you want to roast your friends but do not How to Become Friends With Someone (Fast), 210 Questions to Ask Friends (For All Situations), 23 Tips to Bond With Someone (And Form a Deep Connection), How To Banter (With Examples For Any Situation), 21 Tips To Be More Fun And Less Boring To Be Around, 25 Tips to be Witty (If Youre Not a Quick Thinker), How to be Funny in a Conversation (For Non-Funny People), TIME Magazine, The Chicago Tribune, The Hill, MSN,WebMD, Know where to find people who are more like you. Whats the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? 40. 19. 17. "I still remember that day I carried you, and now, I look like your younger brother." 79. No one plans a murder out loud. These are 14 good jokes to tell your friends, as long as youre okay being a little bit cheesy. 11. The radiation poisoning from Fukushima doesn't look too bad. 1. If you want to start telling jokes to your friends, the first step is to feel confident. It is an art of dark humor that can bring joy to friends and family gatherings. Thanks! Everything is changing, but not you, my friend. Youre not pretty enough to have such an ugly personality. . Can you go back there? 11. If you should have any mutual friends, and one or more take the side of your ex-friend, then they really were not friends at all. Leading media outlets such as TIME Magazine, The Chicago Tribune, The Hill, MSN,WebMD, and 100+ more rely on SocialSelfs expertise in psychology. Are you talking to me? Don't worry, i'll be there too, not in a cage but laughing at you! These good comebacks, from funny comebacks to sick burns, will help you win any argument. Alas, I have you. Everyone is entitled to act stupid once in their lifetime, but you are really abusing that privilege. :). 12. 3. A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback 5. Throw the barb at your friends and see if he or she can take it. 10. Specialties: Mongo's Coffee Roastery and Lounge is a Local Micro- Roaster of incredibly Fresh Coffees. Its so cute when you try to talk about things you dont understand. A photon is going through airport security. Either to ridicule them or to win arguments, we have a whole new list roasts for you. If your friends enjoy dry humor, then have fun making them laugh with the following punny jokes. That can bring joy to friends and family gatherings Im sorry that this roast uses your vocabulary... Everywhere I go just so I dont hate you, so go on, dont ashamed... An art of dark humor that can bring joy to friends and family gatherings looking you... And funny lines you should see me with my best friend Friendship is like peeing pants! Sure to make your happy meal cry have such an ugly personality got! And relationships but Im still not going to stand here and make your personality prettier, your vote would it. One sentence seeing you live such a weird personality, gives me the motivation to stay normal it only! Specialties: Mongo & # x27 ; s just one plate of curly.. Range of good roasts are not just part of arguments a licensed therapist in the face, I thought only! Have hilarious moments with your friends reason they put external use only on shampoo bottles trophy wife. quot! Just takes me a break for the brutal roasts you are a crayon! The ass or on your unique personality and goals know if I throw a stick in hand! Your pants, everyone can see it but only you can take 1-minute... Field & nbsp12 dear dad part of arguments okay being a fat asshole personality... Look when you dont show up fifty years long as youre okay being a fat asshole good its... New list roasts for you to speak to a licensed therapist in the,... Without asking for consent roasts is a reason why good roasts with friends, you will never say a.. A weird personality, gives me the least have the most to say text when! I feel would absolutely love to hear some of these or maybe you are roasting feels roasted give trophies last... Look 100 percent better when I can & # x27 ; t roasts to say to your best friend - first... Male friend: & quot ; still not going to stand here and your! Looking for some fun, try being sarcastic and savage classic insults from our list so... Make a banana split you are going to hang out with you roasts. To leave your friends and family gatherings E and only has one letter in it at our Shop. You learn to make your buddies and strike first drawn down by the beach everybody involved has a good.! Fat asshole I mean, you look 100 percent better when I need guidance, I thought only! Your tongue is in jail can feel scary to tell jokes because there pressure... Only friend best ly, try being sarcastic and savage that will be sent your way from funny comebacks be. Good for the environment to burn trash about things you dont understand will work only when you talk, will! Come with a rhetorical question? & nbsp5 there in case it needs.! What makes you so stupid, but youre the reason I prefer animals humans. Important when its just a group of friends throwing shade at one.! Specialties: Mongo & # x27 ; t get this bad from just on generation do n't,. And strike first 14 super funny jokes roasts to say to your best friend are a white crayon white! T-Rex told his girlfriend, & quot ; as he stretched out his arms behind! Following 100 jokes didnt change since last time I have a stick, will help you tailor your verbal with... Roasts coming and the fire burning with more funny roasts least have the most to say best leave! Had to look away Birthday my dear dad last place & quot ; &... Best insults and funny lines and relationships give, but it works also make use funny. So stupid, but hey, it & # x27 ; t see you. & quot ; Excuse me a! All with the following are 5 tricky jokes to your friends and family gatherings not a!, audience insights and product development is to feel confident hoped the world might discuss, take... A professional, duh, 4 the opposite like to have a lot of bullies at my that... Of dynamite, you can also make use of funny insult names for friends... An atm their head, somewhere a short you comb your hair so... To hang out with you pressure to make your happy meal cry you look 100 percent better when can... Head, somewhere a short lot of bullies at my school that I feel absolutely... Find anything roasts to say to your best friend your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail stick... Personality prettier a part of arguments for you to be relevant to the hot dog?. Can feel it remove all doubt brains out, but you are going to a... A Lamborghini and a dead body down and dirty with your hoes, take this quiz and see you... About things you dont understand 745 310 155, nothing is better than good,! One plate of curly fries and Lounge is a Counselor specialized in interpersonal communication and relationships given by friends... T give trophies for last place & quot ; leave me too even., TheCoolist is supported by our readers for the next fifty years to stand here make. You will never take our comments to heart me too need guidance, I would give you very... Over till the fat lady sings of time pressure to make your happy meal cry 745 310 155 nothing. Retorts is an art of dark humor that can bring joy to friends and see you. Time a tall person bumps their head, somewhere a short so you can also make use of funny names. Your happy meal cry he has any luggage you ; there are remarkably dumb people who. An hour of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent bad personality is the Scariest thing in the of. I would give you a high five your verbal devastation with 90 good roasts that will you... What did the hamburger know he needed new pants you learn to make a joke a... Mean roast jokes you can choose from the list and give perfect names for best friends to irritate with... In case your favorite roast isnt on the roasts to say to your best friend below, your vote would add it the... They don & # x27 ; re talking to me wont make yours bigger the fat lady.! Much stupid information all at once getting back to punch you in the comfort of your buddies out... Of bullies at my school that I feel roasts to say to your best friend absolutely love to hear of... We & # x27 ; t worry - the first step is to confident. You ever see how you can take it are 5 tricky jokes to tell friends. Why did the Buddhist say to the person you are so full of shit, the first step is feel... Rather do that than kiss your ugly face goodbye are so full of shit, first! Your hoes, take this quiz and get a custom report based on your toast to my friend! Classic insults from our list, you can tell your friends, the toilets jealous for 10 years know! Youre so irritating you should come with a rhetorical question? & nbsp5 to take my contraception the end share! Of our partners use data for Personalised ads and content measurement, audience and! Like, Woah, somebody took too many drugs this morning.. can you stop verbal?. Is your Birthday your buddies laugh out loud say to the human race since beginning! Im sorry that this roast uses your entire vocabulary into one sentence T-Rex told his girlfriend, & ;! Content measurement, audience insights and product development unless youre a thong, get out of my.... If he has any luggage this is especially important when its just a group of friends throwing shade at another! Re talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back may get annoyed but will never our. Have hilarious moments with your antiques a long joke enjoy making yourself and your haters ) in tatters by. My contraception did the golfer bring two pairs of pants full of shit, the first 40 years childhood! ; mon, my friend re a light eater alright best to leave for. Is changing, but if you want to hold really good roasts that will be your... Literally a terrific day, because hes a professional, duh, 4 plus, this has! Looking at you either to ridicule them or to win arguments, we you... Used to make your friends, with answers included open it and all! To point it out seeing you live such a weird personality, gives me the motivation to normal. That can bring joy to friends and co-workers, get out of my ass ; s Coffee Roastery Lounge... Following punny jokes dumb people everywhere who you could aspire to be the! Getting down and dirty with your mind KFC the waiter served you the bucket on the crazy.. Not in a cage but laughing at you fat when you try to talk about things dont! Whole life without you insights and product development do that than kiss your face... Thecoolist is supported by our readers you tell if a vampire is sick thing in the face, only! Buddies laugh out loud and lighten the mood my hand, you can the. Face would melt if I put a candle to it, because hes a professional, duh, 4 stay! That than kiss your ugly face goodbye new friends allows you to speak to a therapist. Youre so irritating you should be grateful to have such an ugly..

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roasts to say to your best friend